I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I need moral support for this bender
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
