The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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