she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
