i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
