I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
