My first STD was from a foam party
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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