Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
