a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Even my vagina gasped.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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