you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
