I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
