so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
