Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
