Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
