dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
