but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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