I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
this boner is exhausting
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
