playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
