I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
