think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
