so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
