He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
