oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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