How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
