My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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