.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
