Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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