i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
