shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
