me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
