I bet he comes in French.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
