Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
