If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I would fuck him just for his dog
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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