I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
