I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
