3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
