i barfeds in our rink
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
