Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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