I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
you will always have a special place in my vag
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
