How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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