Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
