I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
PANTIES FOUND
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