My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Still dying that you shit outside
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
