Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
