Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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