i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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