It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
