I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
