After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
