OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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