what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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